Ok, so I have seen other Photographer’s tackle this problem, but they way I have been feeling lately I decided I will too. To help myself & maybe some other moms out there (who work, whether from home or not, or just SAHM who can’t say no).
See, I am a Stay at Home Mom first (SAHM for rest of this piece). I LOVE my girls & praise God we were able to make the cut backs necessary for me to stay with them. Now, a couple of years ago, with recommendations from many people (including professional photographers), I decided to start a business. Back then, I kinda thought, “hey, I can take photos which I love, take care of my girls & bring a little extra money home…..” At some point, this part-time job morphed. Many when think of a SAHM/Photographer think, “You do an hour session plus like maybe 30 minutes to edit. Then you do that 3 times a week, so you’re working 4.5 hours a week. Easy.” Oh, are they wrong. This business takes up almost as much time as being a mom. Part of it is me. I have a hard time saying no. Sticking to my 3 sessions a week goal (especially when it’s a rescheduled session, or newborn, I will fit it in), plus Marketing, Editing, Accounting, etc…. I work alot.
That all being said, I have WAY too many “balls” I am juggling. Not only the business & being a mom, but I volunteer. That also started as a once a month gig, then when people backed out, or I got asked personally, I said yes. I feel as if people think (whether they do or not, this is how it feels), that I am a SAHM, I of course have the time. These are things that I believe in, so I say “yes.” Thanks to all of this, I am stressed. When stressed, I over-analyze everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Lost a “like” on FB? Obviously, it’s because I’m horrible at what I do. Someone cancelled, same thought. Realize I haven’t done something I needed to weeks ago & now the deadline is today….. Did I post enough (for business & other organizations)? Did I give enough info? Did I motivate others? Could I have done more? Of course I could’ve, right? (I won’t even go into “Mommy Guilt”…I already did that post) All these thoughts go through my head when I am stressed. Lately, it’s almost constant.
The Christian in me, knows it’s the Devil getting in my head. I pray. I pray more. I feel better, something else pops up or goes wrong & I go back to the beginning. Anyone relate? (I could be the only crazy person out there, I know). I have seen other photographers talk about the “I’ve quit my job at least once a month.” They of course mean mentally, or you say to yourself, “that’s it, I’m done.” Which I have done a few times lately. Or considered doing……It’s hard. Life is hard. What can we do? Well, to quote Dory, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” Or, even better, always remember this about ourselves & teach it to our kids…….